Loving All of You
by venturrieb
Summary: Quinn's given up and has allowed her alters to run her life. When one alter goes too far he forces Rachel to her breaking point, and forces Quinn to take back control of her life.


**A/N: I suck, I owed this story to berniivdee ages ago, but shit got crazy and just UGH! Anyway so here's a one shot for you guys. Hopefully you all like it. It was very interesting to write to say the least.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Glee, I promise you things would be totally different if I did. All mistakes are indeed mine.**

**PS: If you are someone who reads my A Howl In the Night story there's and "A/N" at the bottom for you.**

* * *

"FUCK!" The blonde shouted his hand going through his choppy hair as the frustration bubbled over. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AGGRIVATING YOU ARE! THEY ALL LOVE YOU AND IT'S PISSING ME OFF BECAUSE I JUST WANT YOU OUT!" he exclaimed throwing the half empty bottle of beer that was sitting on the coffee table at a wall.

The small brunette jumped slightly at the crash as she continued to back as far away as she could from the blonde.

"I don't understand what is about you," he growled, advancing on the girl who found herself backed into the opposite wall. A paled hand gradually made its way up to her tan cheek, the girl trembling slightly as she tried not to cry. "What it is you did or do that makes them want you so much, everything they ever do revolves around you," his hand gently slid till it was wrapped around the smaller girl's neck his thumb resting perfectly against the middle. He pressed slightly causing her to suck in air.

"Please don't," she begged, speaking for the first time since he'd shown up; the sound only causing him to tighten his grip before…

"Never," the blonde breathed out before pressing their lips together in a hard kiss the hand that had been tightening on the shorter girl's neck falling to her waist.

"Charlie?" the shorter of the two murmured against smooth lips as she was lifted in strong arms against the wall.

"I'm so sorry baby, I love you so much," the girl whispered placing apologetic kisses against her girlfriend's tan skin. "He's gone. I promise you he's gone, I'll never hurt you. I promise I'll never hurt you." she breathed out moving in to kiss the girl in her arms again.

"No, Charlie," the brunette protested pushing her back until she stepped far enough for her to be standing on the ground again. "Charlie, I love you," she began, but stopped when Charlie took her hand into her own.

"I love you too Rachel, more than anything. I promise I'm gonna get him under control. He will never hurt you again, I promise you baby. I'm so sorry he scared you" she pressed a small kiss against her girlfriend's palm.

"I can't be here Charlie," Rachel blurted out before she lost her nerve.

"What?"

"I can't be here, not anymore. If you hadn't come…." Rachel rubbed her neck slowly as the memory of the familiar hand pressed against her neck flashed. "I love you, but I just, I can't die for this Charlie. One day you may not be able to save me."

"No Rae, baby, I swear I'm going to get him under control. I'll never let him hurt. You're everything to me." Charlie pleaded quickly gathering Rachel in her arms.

"But I'm not everything to him…" Rachel admitted with a sight. "I have to go Charlie;" she spoke pushing away from one of the loves of her life. "I just can't stay here wandering who's coming home to me right now. I'll stay with San and Britt for now." She turned and grabbed her keys and purse from the bar top; willing her tears to stay at bay until she was out of the apartment.

"What about Quinn?" the blonde asked in a final attempt to stop the girl from walking out. She already had tears falling, she knew mentioning Quinn was a low blow, but she was desperate to keep the brunette from leaving.

"Don't Charlie, please," Rachel pleaded in a small whisper her back towards the blonde.

"She needs you Rachel, more than me even. What is she supposed to do with you gone?"

"I haven't seen Quinn in months Charlie."

"That doesn't mean she's not still here Rae," advancing swiftly Charlie placed her hands on the brunette's waist and turned her resting their forehead together in an attempt to look into the expressive chocolate orbs she loved more than anything. "Look at me baby-doll."

How was she supposed to resist when those words left Charlie's lips, they were her weakness, and the blonde knew it. Hesitantly Rachel lifted her gaze until her eyes locked on the light hazel that were more green than brown and contained specks of gold in them. She felt the moisture running down her cheeks, she knew Charlie had won. There was no way she could walk away from the love that had radiated off of the blonde.

"She's still here, just look in my eyes, and you'll see her… she needs you baby… I need you. Don't make us say goodbye." Slowly Charlie's pale lips moved towards Rachel full ones, it was a light kiss, one to test the waters. When Rachel didn't pull away she took it upon herself to press firmer against her the brunette's lips, smiling when Rachel finally responded to the kiss as their tears mixed and Rachel's lips opened the slightest bit allowing her entrance. Swiftly the blonde lifted Rachel forcing the girl to wrap her legs around waist, and carried her back to their bedroom.

* * *

It was six hours later when Rachel woke up underneath her lover; the blonde's even breath was warm against her neck. Deep down she knew what she would have to do, but it didn't make it hurt any less. Smoothly, as she had so many times before when wanting to go to the bathroom, Rachel wiggled her way from underneath the blonde. Quietly she made her way out of bed and to their dresser so she could pull out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. She placed a lingering kiss against the blonde's forehead once she was dressed before disappearing out of their room and out the door.

Santana's head snapped towards the door when she heard someone knocking, quickly the Latina was on her feet and pulling one of her pistols from underneath the dining room table. Santana was no fool no one knocked on people's doors at twelve o'clock at night, not unless you previously invited them over, and honestly why would you invite them over at midnight it just made no sense. "Baby, go into the bedroom," the Latina whispered to her girlfriend as she headed towards to the door. She waited till the blonde was in their room with the door closed before continuing towards their apartment door. She looked up into the peephole and only made out a mop of brunette hair, so steadily, with her gun in hand she opened the door pointing it at the figure.

Rachel lifted her head and jumped a little when she saw her friend holding a gun to her face. "What the fuck Rachel?" the Latina exclaimed. "Do you know what time it is?" she pulled the girl into the apartment before double checking the surrounding area and relocking the door. "You are so lucky I'm not a shoot and ask questions later. I could of shot-" the Latina stopped mid rant when she turned and noticed Rachel was shaking with her head down. "Rach?" she asked quietly while approaching the tiny girl who somehow looked so much smaller. "False alarm Britt," the Latina called over the girl's shoulder before hugging the small brunette.

Brittany stepped out of the bedroom and immediately ran to her friend's side when she saw her wrapped in Santana's arms. "Rachie?" the blonde asked quietly as she soothingly ran her hand over the girl's back.

"Rach," Santana whispered in the girl's ear as she continued to shake in her arms tears now flowing freely.

"San, let's get her to bed," Brittany suggested earning a nod from her girlfriend who picked up the brunette and carried her to their bedroom where they laid her in bed before crawling in beside once they double checked everything was locked and turned off.

* * *

It wasn't until Charlie woke up the next morning with a serious case of bed head that she realized her girlfriend was no longer beneath nor beside her in bed. "Rach!" she called when she didn't hear the sink or shower going in bathroom. "Rachel!" she called again getting out of bed and making her way through the apartment. Searching for any sign of the girl Charlie perked when she saw the brunette's purse and instantly went through it her mind racing when she couldn't find the girl's phone, keys, or wallet. Running back to their room Charlie pulled her phone off the night stand and dialed for Rachel. "Come on baby, pick up." It rang for awhile before Rachel's voicemail picked up quickly she redialed only to end up with the same result. The worst thoughts flashed in the girl's mind as she dialed her best friend. Rachel never just left with her keys, phone and wallet unless she was running a quick errand or was just picking something up, so the fact that she wasn't picking up her phone had the blonde worrying.

When Santana heard her phone go off she quickly grabbed it from the nightstand before silencing it and hurrying into the living room to answer, while Brittany and Rachel remained wrapped up in bed. It had taken an hour of crying before Rachel had finally succumbed to much needed sleep. "Hello?" she answered a little hoarsely from sleep.

"San, I can't fine Rachel! Her keys, phone, and wallet's gone, but she won't answer my calls. We have to find her. Can you track her call-"

"Charlie!" Santana semi-shouted, being sure to mind the women sleeping in her bedroom.

"What?"

"Rachel's here," the Latina admitted lowly.

"What do you mean she's 'here'?" the blonde questioned slightly confused.

"I mean she's here in my apartment, currently asleep in my bed. She showed up at midnight in tears. Britt and I tried getting her to talk, but all she could do was cry… what the hell happened last night Charlie?"

Two minutes of silence passed between the two before, "Goodbye Santana" and the line went dead.

"Fuck," the Latina murmured as she buried her tired her eyes in her palms, willing herself not to cry. She melted when she felt familiar arms wrap around her waist.

"Baby," Brittany mumbled. "Was that Charlie?"

"Yeah," the Latina admitted with a sigh. "Charlie turned Gavin." Brittany gasped quietly at the information. Gavin although receptive of herself and Santana was not a big fan of the girl currently sleeping in their bedroom. "We need to talk to Rachel about what had her showing up at twelve."

"I don't think you want to know," Rachel spoke up from her spot beside the bedroom door.

Both women turned when they heard the brunette "We may not want to know Rachie, but I think we need to."

"Britt's right Rach, you need to talk to us so that we can talk to Gavin, and get Charlie or maybe even Quinn back."

"Please," the shortest of the girl's scoffed sadly as she made her way to the living room sofa and folded her legs underneath herself. "Quinn's hasn't shown up in months, and I hardly doubt that's going to change any time soon."

"Tell us what happened Rae," Santana asked quietly as both she and Brittany molded themselves on opposite sides of the girl.

"I was just waiting for Charlie to get home; she told me she was ten minutes away when I called. When I heard the door opening I went to greet her, but it turned out I wasn't greeting Charlie... Gavin… he just kind of stared at me before pushing me out of the way and going to grab a beer-"

"He pushed you?" Santana interrupted anger evident in her tone.

"It wasn't anything major, San. You know how when someone's in your way so you kind of move them to keep going," Santana nodded her eyes boring into Rachel's so she could spot any lie the actresses might be telling. "Well it was like that… I tried talking to him, to figure out what happened, why Charlie had gotten so upset, that he had to come out, but then he just went off on me. Blaming me for everything, and yelling, he said that he just wanted me out. The living room was a mess by the time he finished." Rachel grew silent after, her eye welling with tears as she searched for the correct way to tell her friends about what Gavin did. Finally she decided to just get on with it. "He quieted down after," she began the tears that had worked to keep at bay finally falling, "thinking aloud really until he started advancing on me until I was backed into a wall, and he uh, he… he wrapped his hand around my neck, and started to um… to squeeze." She heard both of her friend's breaths hitch at the information, but decided to just power through her tears with the story. "I begged him not to, but he only tightened his grip before Charlie was back, and she was kissing me. She just kept apologizing and telling me how much she loved me and that she was sorry. I wanted to leave, I tried to leave, but I couldn't. Not when she was begging me not to, she said Quinn needed me. How was I supposed to go?" the brunette sobbed before burying her face against Brittany.

Looking over the crying brunette whom she was holding close Brittany nodded sadly at her girlfriend, both of them aware of where their friend's heads would be at the moment, and probably until Rachel returned to her bed.

* * *

It took three weeks and a trip to her friends' loft where neither Charlie nor Gavin bothered answering before the blonde showed up at Brittany and Santana's door clad in the usual attire of jeans and t-shirt. Santana opened the door with a huff, "Charlie, hey what are you doing here?" she asked taking a step outside, deliberately avoiding inviting the girl in.

Hazel eyes flickered from the ground to dark mochas, and white teeth bit shyly on pink lips. "I'm not Charlie, and I want to see Rachel," she stated quietly.

Sighing Santana ran her hands threw her hair, "Okay Lucy, I'm sorry, but I still can't let you see her. Rachel… she's emotional right now, and unless Quinn plans on making an appearance she doesn't want to see any of you."

"I know S!" Quinn exclaimed missing the way Santana's eye widened at the use of the nickname that only Quinn used when it came to the alters. "That's why I'm here okay. I just want to see my girlfriend. "

"Quinn?" Santana breathed as the realization dawned on her.

"Just let me see her S."

"Quinn you've been gone for nearly three months! Three months you've let Charlie live _your_ life. Do you have any idea how many times Rachel has called me wishing you had been the one holding her when she had a hard day on set or something horrible got spread in the tabloids. And now you show up because she's gone. Fuck Quinn why didn't you show up when she was there, and needed you. Charlie showed up when Gavin flipped his head, not you, but she needed you more than she needed Charlie."

"Tana," it was s mall whisper from behind the Latina, but still it caught the attention of hazel and mocha eyes. "I want to talk to her."

"Rach-"

"It's fine. Quinn won't hurt me," the brunette reassured as she placed a gently hand on the girl's arm.

After a brief internal fight, Santana nodded, "If Gavin comes out, you scream do you understand? I don't want you trying to talk to him, not after what he did to you." the officer waited for Rachel to nod her head before kissing her cheek and walking into the bedroom she shared with her girlfriend.

Both girls waited for the door to close before looking up and meeting each other's gaze. "I've missed you," Quinn admitted after a minute of silence.

Forcing a dry chuckle Rachel leant herself against a nearby wall. "I find that hard to believe."

"Rach-"

"I've spent the last three months with Charlie, Gavin, and Lucy. How am I supposed to believe that you've missed me?"

"Baby, you know I can't control-"

"I know Quinn, okay, I know!" Rachel exclaimed somewhat quietly as not to alert her friends in the other room. "But shit Quinn you used to try. You used to at least try to control them, but these past three months you've just given up." Rachel tried to fight back her tears, not wanting Quinn to see her this way, but with the blonde standing in front of her hazel eyes shining with love and honestly it was just too much, and suddenly tears were silently racing down her cheeks. "You used to try for me," the last part was whispered; if Quinn hadn't been paying attention she would have missed it.

Stepping closer Quinn raised her hand to wipe her girlfriend's tears, "Tell me what you want me to do."

Rachel reached her own hand up to hold the one of Quinn's that was cupping her cheek while leaning in to it. "I can't tell you what to do Quinn. You have to do this for you, not me."

Nodding as her own tears cascaded down her face Quinn leaned in and pressed her lips against Rachel's. "Come home Rach. I'll work on everything, just come home."

"Quinn, I can't," Rachel pulled back away from the girl, not wanting any contact while she did this. Otherwise it would have been too much. "I can't go back with you. Not after what happened."

"I'll control him Rachel I swear. Just come home. I would never let him hurt you-"

"She said no Quinn," Santana spoke from in front of her bedroom door.

"Tana-" Rachel started only to be cut off by her best friend.

"No Rachel, Quinn you need to go. You are more than welcome to come see Rachel, when I'm here, if that's what she wants, but she's not going with you."

"SANTANA!" Rachel shouts. "I'm an adult and am capable of making my own decisions. I don't need you telling me what I can and cannot do, and I sure as hell don't need your supervision."

"The hell you don't. She threatened to kill you Rachel!" the Latina shouted while advancing towards her friend. "Do you honestly expect me to leave you alone with her!?"

"THAT WASN'T ME! I would never hurt Rachel."

"You might as well Quinn because you don't even come around anymore. Tell me why it is you're even here? So you can bring Rachel back to your place, and just go back to switching between Charlotte and Gavin occasionally Lucy. YOU GAVE UP!" the words stung, and Quinn found herself unable to continue meeting her friend's gaze. "You gave up, and not for one second did you think about the others in your life… Quinn you're one of my best friends and I love you, but you have to get help because you can't deal with this on your own. Not anymore."

"Go inside San," Rachel whispered when she realized that Quinn had no intensions of looking up from the floor.

"Rach-"

"No, just go to your bedroom Santana. I'm fine."

Looking between the two a final time Santana reluctantly nodded and made her way back to the bedroom she shared with Brittany.

"Quinn," the brunette whispered softly her cheek resting on a wet cheek as she forced hazel eyes to meet her own. "I know it was hard to hear, but Tana was right. You can't deal with on your own anymore."

"I know," the blonde agreed with tears cascading down her slightly tinted cheeks. "I know."

* * *

**Three Months Later**

"I bumped into Quinn at the coffee shop around the corner from my place."

"And how did that go?"

"Well, I think. We ended up sitting together and talking. Talking like we hadn't seen each other in months, which I guess technically we haven't, but still we've spoken to one another."

Nodding Dr. Hawk, Rachel's therapist, wrote something down on her note pad before looking back of at the brunette with a small smile. "You seem to be in a happy mood today Rachel, did something happen with Quinn?"

"Yeah, we sort of made dinner plans for this Saturday."

"Like a date?"

Rachel bit her lip in a horrible attempt to not smile, "Yeah I guess it sort of is a date. This is ridiculous I feel like the teenager I was when we first started dating." She said rolling her eyes and running a hand through her wavy locks.

"There's nothing wrong with that Rachel, although I do have to ask, do you think you're ready to be dating Quinn again? Three months although may seem like a long time in certain situations is actually rather short."

"You didn't see her Dr. Hawk, she's different, I know that she's not hundred percent in control of everything, but she's at least trying now. Three months ago she hadn't a single care in the world of who ran her life, but now every night before I go to sleep it's Quinn who calls me. Not Charlie or Lucy or Gavin. It's Quinn. And the today in that coffee shop, it was Quinn sitting in front of me. Not them… Am I ready for Quinn to be my girlfriend again, no, but am I ready to have Quinn, absolutely. She's my one and only, and I think somewhere deep inside, no matter what we've been through, we've both always known that. We've both always know that we'd end up together."

Smiling Dr. Hawk set down her note pad and rested her chin upon her hand. "Passionate words, from a passionate woman. For your own safety Rachel in case something does become too much for Quinn, and Gavin comes out, I want to suggest that you make some guide lines, such as eating in a very public setting, and not allowing Quinn to take you home. From what you're told me about Quinn I don't think she would try anything negative, but if she were to end up drunk for instance one night we wouldn't want to risk her ending up on your doorstep with Gavin right on the brink and Quinn without control of his actions. You must remember that he threatened to kill you, and whether or not he would have gone through with it if Charlotte hadn't shown up is and will forever be unknown."

Nodding Rachel smiled sadly, "I know, but I'm sure San will have me give her every bit of information about what we're doing, and when I think I'll be home and such. She'll watch out for me."

Nodding Dr. Hawk scribbled once again scribbled something down on her notepad before glancing quickly to ensure she had her predicted amount of time left. "So how are things between Santana and Quinn? I know both girls play a huge part in your life, so I can imagine if there's tension its affecting you."

"They're actually okay now. Tana was mostly just sad at first, pissed, but just really sad. They talk a lot and get together, Brittany included. I'm happy for them. Even though she's never said it out loud I know San's missed Quinn."

"That's good Rachel. I'm really happy things are looking up for you."

"I am too Dr. Hawk." The starlet smiled that bright and shining Broadway smile that she hadn't used in a long time.

"Well, it seems are time is up, but I look forward to see you next week, and hearing about your date with Quinn," Dr. Hawk led Rachel out of her office. "If you need me, you know how to reach me."

"Will do Dr. Hawk. Have a great week."

"You too Rachel."

* * *

**At the moment I have zero desire to write A Howl In the Night. I'm not going to take it down in hopes that maybe I come up with something. This is just so you guys know because I know my other two main stories have been updated and that one has not.**


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